I had just gotten off my bus, approached my front door (this was about 15 minutes ago, mind you, so I am still a bit shaky from it), and unlocked it when I see, RIGHT next to my hand, THE BIGGEST, MOST SCARY DADDY LONG LEGS I HAD EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
How it was:
How I saw it:
At this point I am hyperventilating. This spider has most definitely collected enough information about my DNA from being so close to my hand to report it to its army of well-trained army spiders that will come and get me when I least expect it.
I gathered up all the courage I could muster and picked up a large stick. I quickly brushed the spider off of the door and waited timidly while it crawled far enough away for me to be able to dash in and slam the door on it. Really, my internal monologue went something like this:
"SPIDER!!! SPIDERSPIDERSPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEEEERRRRR! HUGE. HUMONGOUS. GIGANTIC SPIDER. SCARY EVIL ARMY TRAINED DEATH SPIDER. AHHHHHH! I HAVE TO PEE. I HAVE TO PEE AND I HAVE TO GET INTO THE DOOR NOW. NOOOOOW. STICK. STICK. BIG STICK. WAHHHHHH KILLER SPIDER GONNA EAT ME IF I TOUCH IT. IT'S GONNA EAT ME IT'S GONNA EAAAT MEEEE. STICK. *picks up stick.* BRUUUSH BRUSH BRUSH GO SPIDER GOOOO! GOOD SPIDER.....GOOD SPIDER....GO...CRAWL...DIE...OKAY IT'S GONE. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" **slams door.** "Holy crap. That spider was extremely Brobdingnagian." ...maybe I didn't actually think that last part. It was probably actually something like, "Holy crap, that spider was freaking humongous."
By the way, Brobdingnagian is a word. Look it up.
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:)
And thanks for teaching my a new word. Now, I just need to figure out how to pronounce it.