Just An Average Teenager

Well, all of your advice has been extremely useful :) I think that I am ready to kiss her, and take the next level in our relationship! However, there is just one more problem, (I'm sorry if I'm stressing you out by telling you about all the problems in my relationship and then asking for advice about it) whenever we are alone, or attempting to be alone, her ex boyfriend is always around. Not only does his presence bother me when we are together, but the fact that he hugs her and puts his arm around her occasionally annoys me to the extent that there is a risk I might implode!!! I'm soooooo stressed out about this because I will be gone for a week leaving her alone with him, and I really don't want her to cheat on me, or attempt to cheat on me, AGAIN... Your advice would be greatly appreciated :) 


Alrighty, here we go... hope I'm still useful!!  Oh, by the way, you're not stressing me out, I'm more than happy to help :)


First of all, you shouldn't have to feel threatened by her ex-boyfriend.  If that is happening, you need to talk to both him and her about it.  It may seem hard or even impossible, but, as some may say, the "pants" in the relationship can't belong to just one person.  Each person must have a say in what goes on, and you can't let yourself be stepped on like you are.  If your girlfriend is flirting with her ex-boyfriend, you need to tell her that you don't like it and that she needs to stop.  If she has a problem with it, then maybe this isn't the healthiest relationship.  You should be devoted to her and she should be devoted to you.


Also, it seems she has cheated on you before...?  If that is the case, although it's not my business to tell you what to do, maybe this relationship isn't the healthiest or best one for you to be involved in.  I can tell that you are a great person, and you don't deserve that kind of stress or frustration.  I can also tell that you are truly devoted to her, but if she's not devoted to you the same way then it isn't a healthy relationship.


You should not have to worry about her cheating on you.  If you don't have faith that your girlfriend is faithful, again, it isn't a healthy relationship.  You need to talk to her about it.  Talk to her about feeling threatened by her ex, talk to her about being faithful while you're gone.  I know that it might be unpleasant, but it's very important.  Also, a great person like you must have great friends who have your back, so if anything happens while you're gone that they see, they'll tell you.  If that happens, you may need to break it off.  It will be hard, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, and this particular one just isn't good enough for you.


I also want to tell you that you should NEVER feel that it's your fault.  It's not your fault.  You are a wonderful person, I can just tell, and the way she acts is HER problem, not yours.  


So, to sum it all up, the best thing to do at this point would be to talk to her.  Tell her how you're feeling, and she should understand.


Best of luck, keep me posted.
 <3 madi